In Honor of Marriages Everywhere

Today is our anniversary. Want to know what we are doing for our big 5 year milestone? Ya, I would like to know too. If you see Clay, can you ask him for me? He is being pretty secretive.

Anyway, in honor of our anniversary and in honor of marriages everywhere, here are 10 11 things to remember during a pregnancy:

1. For goodness sakes don't tell your wife you want to buy her a treadmill for Christmas. She will not think that you care about her health. She will think that you think she's fat. She will then throw something very heavy at you. You will have to go to the ER, where inevitably you will have a pregnant doctor. And when she asks what happened, she will throw something very heavy at you too. You will then end up in a full body cast. Don't end up in a full body cast.

2. Men put the freaking seat down. When your wife has to pee like RIGHT NOW at 3am, the worst thing is to have to deal with trying to hold in her bladder, while undoing her pants, and trying to masterfully put the toilet seat down without having an accident.

3. Men always remember the phrase, "This too shall pass." Whether it's morning sickness, a mood swing, insomnia, constipation (well apparently I'm immature) etc, just remember that it's fleeting. Honestly, the best thing you can do is hug her, listen to her, and ask how you can help. I know you are exhausted, but peel away all the outer moods and we will tell you the truth. We think you are our knight in shining armor for dealing with us.

4. Under no circumstances are you to ever set off a mouse bomb in the house. Traps work just fine. Because when your wife gets a phone call at 9:00pm (when she has full blown morning sickness) that she needs to find a hotel, she might think about shoving a mouse bomb down your throat. Until, that is, you book her a very nice hotel with a king size bed and room service. She will forget all about your little transgression.

5. Men take some time for yourself. Go do something that YOU love. Go on a trip, go take on a hobby, go exercise. You cannot be everything for everyone all of the time. Recharge and you will be better for it.

6. Ladies, your husband doesn't get it. He will probably never get it. Give him grace in his ignorance. He loves you, I promise. And screaming at him because he is grilling fish won't help your morning sickness disappear, and it certainly won't help him to understand you better. Just calmly tell him what you need from him. He will be happy to help. Unless, of course, he gets a terrible flu a couple of months later. In the name of fairness, go ahead and grill up some chicken and eat that bad boy right next to him.

7. Life can become very baby centered. Take some time out of the day to talk to one another about anything other than the baby. And ladies, do something nice for your man every once in awhile. Because not only can life become baby centered, it can become wife centered. Shift the focus and talk about something he enjoys.

8. Ladies just remember we are not exactly our most rational selves. Because while it may seem like spending $50 on a planner, or $150 on a shower water purifier is a good idea; it isn't. I promise that tap water won't turn your baby into a green alien. Just ask someone before you use the credit card carry cash. This will keep your husband's hair its natural color a bit longer.

9. Ladies, sometimes your husband has more wisdom than you do. Ask him his opinion once in awhile and you might be surprised. I know the notion of "Mom knows best" starts early, but our men kind of rock. Let them show you.

10. Just get your wife the pregnancy body pillow. She is crabby and exhausted. And for your sanity, go ahead and sleep on the couch every once in awhile. Or in the guest bedroom. Or on a different planet.

And since apparently I cannot narrow anything down...

11. HAVE SOME FUN once in awhile!!! Laugh. Don't be such a dang fuddy duddy. That's lame and no one likes those people. Break and enter into an apartment complex, run through the snow, go and get a super sized frozen yogurt, and watch something hilarious. Your marriage won't survive if you can't learn to laugh at the little things.

There you have it. And if you are wondering, those things all did happen. Except for the full body cast. But don't be relieved just yet. We are only half-way through. ;)

Until next time!

20 Weeks- The Details

Welcome back to my little corner. :) I hope that your holidays were filled with magic and cheer and wonderment...okay let's cut the crap. It was probably filled with rushed shopping, inappropriate family moments, and dirty santa suits. But somehow, underneath the glow of the christmas tree, it all seems magical. Or it could be the spiked eggnog. I guess we'll never know. Well enough talk about you, let's get back to me.

For those of you (like my husband) who like the details, these are the posts for you. This kind of thing is extremely boring to me, but I will give the people what they want! Now that we have gotten through the holidays, these will be updated weekly. I will also be throwing in random blogs about random things. Those are for the right brained people, like myself. :) I will write as the feeling strikes. Stay tuned, I am currently working on one. Without further ado, here is the update.

How far along? 20 Weeks! Half-way there. Hard to believe.

Total weight gain/loss: Well this has been a hard area. In the name of transparency I will say I am up only a few pounds. Appointment on Tuesday to see if something needs to be done.

Maternity clothes? Do I have them? Nope. Do I need them? Yes. So far I am getting by with a belly band. But I am down to about 3 shirts and 2 pants that fit. 

Stretch marks? None so far! YAY!

Best moment this week: Ringing in the new year. :)

Miss anything: Mountain Biking and snowboarding. What I wouldn't give!

Movement: I can feel movement!! I actually saw my belly move just ever so slightly a few days ago. I asked Clay to come and look, but apparently I have superman vision. He said he couldn't see anything.

Food cravings: Fruit. Any kind, and all the time.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Pretty much everything. Especially meat. 

Have you started to show yet: Yes! It varies depending on how bloated I am. Sometimes I look giant, other times I have just a tiny bump.

Gender: Still holding strong on this one. Although, I have a fairly strong feeling that we are having a baby boy!

Belly Button in or out? In! I know my aunt Sonda is just waiting for it to pop out.

Wedding rings on or off? On :)

Happy or Moody most of the time: As of 5 minutes ago, or right now?

Looking forward to: 3D Ultrasound! 

Baby is currently the size of: An artichoke

I took two pictures. One was fake smiling, this was the other.  I decided to show it how it was. This was a hard week!

Back to my smiling self. :)

And here is a photo dump and explanations of some fun things that have happened over the last couple of weeks.

This was a personal win for me. I labored over this thing to mail to my long lost favorites in New Zealand.  This was how I told them that we were expecting their first grandchild. <3 

This was how we told Clay's parents. Not as creative. We took them to Outback and just spilled the beans. Everyone within a five mile radius the waitress must have heard because she brought me some animal crackers. She told me those really helped with her morning sickness.

We wanted to take a pic of our cute onesie (thanks Katie!) so we trekked out to the canyon. I cannot tell you how good it felt to be in the woods again. My soul needed this. 

This is why I love him.

I got this picture at 3:00am on the 31st from my father. They were in Sydney, Australia ringing in the new year. What do you do when your father is cooler than you are? Shut off your phone because clearly you are sleeping.

Well apparently not that many things have happened. Oh except the most awesome Mother Blessing party in the history of mother blessing parties. I am going to go ahead and gamble that you have no idea what that is. Stay tuned. Until next time you Type A, left brain freaks! I love each and every one of you.